Tuesday, December 6, 2011
It's Never Easy
Yeah, I had the conversation, thought it went well. Ended up blowing up Thanksgiving anyway. My fault mostly. Forgot I needed to talk to one more person. So I finally got all three of them together and made them talk. I watched their kids while they went to lunch. 6 of them....that was truly fun, too! Although I do not know anything past "it went better than expected" I have been assured that my Christmas Eve Party should go off without any hitches. So I am praying that between now and Christmas nothing will interfere. And if all goes as planned, I will have my whole family together on Christmas Eve for the first time in about 10 years. Yay! Can't wait. This is my true present.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thank you, Jesus!
I had the conversation today. Went so well. I feel like we are heading in the right direction. I know that hurt feelings and ruffled feathers still need to be addressed....one step at a time. Keep praying!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Time moves so fast....
I can't believe it's the middle of November now! My son has married....I have turned another year older....I have taken a dream vacation to Alaska....survived another fire season....developed deeper friendships....
But...nothing is ever perfect is it? We must grow through trials....be tested. When your family is as large as mine - and some would say as dysfunctional as mine....there is always some drama. Fortunately most of the drama until lately was directed at all of us....us defending our own....but lately it appears we've turned on each other....blaming...posturing....getting angry at each other....not for what someone has done to us....but out of loyalty to another and taking on the anger for them. It is so easy to see the splinter in someone else's eye...than to look at the log in our own eye. You know...the one that blinds us to our own faults. The one that somehow gives us amnesia regarding our own actions.
This must be dealt with. I must confront the one who believes he is right to carry his righteous anger. But also the one who could be held to the fire for his own actions...but won't be because forgiveness has been offered and absorbed. How easy it is to be forgiven by another....how difficult it is to forgive. Nobody can stand up to the light that has been directed at one particular family member....we must remember that if we were asked to stand in that same place...we too would come up lacking.
I hate that this Holiday Season has been marred by this. I hate the hurt and mistrust this has caused among us. I ask that you pray that, by the Grace of God, these things will be worked out before Christmas.
Love....we must always remember to come from a place of love....nothing else matters.
But...nothing is ever perfect is it? We must grow through trials....be tested. When your family is as large as mine - and some would say as dysfunctional as mine....there is always some drama. Fortunately most of the drama until lately was directed at all of us....us defending our own....but lately it appears we've turned on each other....blaming...posturing....getting angry at each other....not for what someone has done to us....but out of loyalty to another and taking on the anger for them. It is so easy to see the splinter in someone else's eye...than to look at the log in our own eye. You know...the one that blinds us to our own faults. The one that somehow gives us amnesia regarding our own actions.
This must be dealt with. I must confront the one who believes he is right to carry his righteous anger. But also the one who could be held to the fire for his own actions...but won't be because forgiveness has been offered and absorbed. How easy it is to be forgiven by another....how difficult it is to forgive. Nobody can stand up to the light that has been directed at one particular family member....we must remember that if we were asked to stand in that same place...we too would come up lacking.
I hate that this Holiday Season has been marred by this. I hate the hurt and mistrust this has caused among us. I ask that you pray that, by the Grace of God, these things will be worked out before Christmas.
Love....we must always remember to come from a place of love....nothing else matters.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Letting go........
That's the hardest thing. I thought that my "control" issues were behind me. And in a way they are. Replaced by desire to do the right thing in any circumstance. To love unconditionally. But (there is always a "but!") .....I do get frustrated when my good intentions and generosity are unappreciated. So that comes down to motive...if my motives are pure then appreciation isn't necessary. So the challenge is to offer what I have...no pretense...no manipulation...and let God handle the response. Letting go. I have to. For the health of my marriage and for myself. They are all grown children...all have children of their own. i have to let go.
Friday, May 6, 2011
My journey of pain and reality
So right now I feel pretty good. I've gotten in and out of my bed 3 times all by myself. I've made my own breakfast, taken a shower all by myself, started one load of laundry, folded another and got my pill organizer organized for the next 7 days. Oh and I went to 1/2 meds this morning for another trial run....hopefully this time it is successful.
One week ago today I went into what I thought would be a simple, although painful, laparoscopic surgery to repair a massive incisional hernia that I developed after having my gastric bypass 6 years ago. It was obvious to me how large an area he had to repair, but I guess I got my first inkling into the fact the the DR didn't understand, when he came into the pre-op. He asked the question as to whether or not I knew what procedure he was performing. I told him that he was going to fix all my hernias. He said, "All? How many do you have?" I told him that I had hundreds that had basically morphed into one or two massive bulges that stuck out at weird angles as well as at weird times. He lifted my gown and handed me a sharpie and asked me to mark the area where my surgery was to take place....then quickly grabbed it away when he saw I was gonna draw all over my abdomen. So he pushed on one part of my belly and asked if this is where it was....yes as well as here, here and here and over here, too. He asked me to sit up and cough and as I sat up my top hernia buldged out rather nicely as if it knew it wasn't gonna be able to play these games anymore....and the Dr's eyes bulged....but not as impressively. He tried to say some encouraging words as well as explain the extent of the surgery he would have to do. He said he would have to put in a rather large piece of mesh to cover the defects and that it might take longer because they have to roll it up really small and then put it in then use the instruments to unfurl it and get it laid out all nice and smooth and attach it to my abdominal wall with brads. Now the brads he had explained. He would have to put one about every 1/4 inch all around the outer perimiter of the mesh...then moved in about 1/2 way and do another whole circle. He said that it didn't make any difference in the pain of these brads whether or not he re-opened my whole incision or was able to complete the surgery laproscopically. He explained the 4 little holes I would have because of where he would have to insert the instruments. I also remember G asking him how he "knew" that the mesh was in place, etc. He stated that he had a few "tricks up his sleeve" to handle that He finished his little pep talk by assuring us that we'd be headed home the next day.
Skip to waking up and being moved into my room. Can I just say that the transfer from gurney to bed is never pleasant...at least it has never been for me. There are far too many people yelling at you to do far too many things...that you probably would have had a hard time accomplishing even if you hadn't had surgery....but the morphine/anesthesia fog only seems to empower those around you to scream and yell for you to do things that you know if you were in your right mind and body...would tend to get their teethed knocked out! (Just a suggestion....all these beds are on wheels and can be moved room to room....so why don't they move you to your slightly more comfortable hospital bed BEFORE they wake you up?????) I am aware of the fact that I am not in a private room and that I am making a terrible disturbance and feel embarrassed and really want to apologize but in reality all I can think is "Where is that morphine button?" Then I feel them lift my gown to inspect my abdomin (I am allergic to adhesive so no dressings) and starting counting....1..2..3..4..5.....6....oh here's another one....7....no let's count again.....8.....here's another one....9...10....11....12....TWELVE! Another recount. I can hear Gary's astonishment and references to looking like I'd been shot or stabbed over, and over, and over..............At some point....I know it is late at night or early morning...the nurses decided I need to get up and use the toilet. So they graciously help me up (insert scream here) and get me to the restroom which is totally on the other side of the room in my roomate's territory. Obviously she isn't asleep and I just hear this sweet voice telling me it will be all right....take my time....breathe.... I feel such relief that she isn't yelling at me to shut up ... and while I am dutifully trying to do my business...we exchange names. Her name is Maria. After a 45 minute attempt the nurses get me back to bed...scan my bladder and come up with the welcome/dreaded plan to insert a catheter. Welcome....because I know this means no more attempts to get me out of bed....dreaded because....well.....you know.....I have made sure that the morphine button is in my left hand (embedded) so as to not lose it through what is left of the night and fitfully go back to sleep.
Sometime mid-morning of Saturday my nurses (Kelly my cutest RN award winner and Christiana my cutest Nursing Student Award Winner - these two girls were such a wonderful team and so helpful and encouraging. I just loved them!) came in and removed the catheter and got me up several times to attempt the bathroom. I was in excruciating pain and at one point in the bathroom pulled my gown up to look at myself....HORROR! G was such an attentive care giver....always coming up with ways to make things easier...I LOVE how caring he becomes and he's such an advocate for me. We were both struck by how much more extensive the operation had been and how much more pain I was in than expected. He acknowledged what I already knew...there was NO way I was going home today....because there was no way I was letting my morphine button out of my reach! Kelly and Christina made the wonderful decision to re-catheratize me and just encouraged G to get me up every so often for laps around the ward. I went from 1 1/2 laps to 6 laps by Sunday. All met with cheers from Kelly and Christiana...have I mentioned I loved those two?
Of couse as we were going about the painful journey to get me to a place where I could even consider going home....we were getting to know my roomate a little better. The cutest little lady. Sad. Her husband of 30 some odd years had died 6 months before. She has two sons. One is in Afghanistan and the other is in Irag. She was in the hospital because she'd just had stomach surgery for stomach cancer. She was only left alone one time that I can remember....she seemed to have a wonderful list of people who loved her and showered her with flowers and stuffed toys....and stayed with her. It's funny how in the hospital we cheer for things that aren't even discussed between strangers outside of the hospital. Her goal given to her by her DR was to poop. I was trying to pee, she was trying to poo and we laughed and bonded over the silliness of it all.
The 2nd night in the hospital we watched the Nascar race together and then G left to go to the Hotel. I wasn't expected to get up all night...so the nurses just asked me to just try and not sleep on my back the whole night. G had asked me to try and not push the morphine button anymore than I absolutely had to. So I push the button....wiggle and worm my way very painfully onto my right side.....and crash....something had fallen....but it wasn't until about 1/2 hour later I realized it was my TV Remote/Nurse Call button. Because I desparetly wanted to move....I wanted my morphine button and I was in PAIN! It hurt my whole body just to try and reach my arms across my chest....I manuevered the bed a little with my elbow....but I was stuck. So I decided that I could handle this...that when they came in to check on Maria then I would just get their attention, too. The fact that the TV was stuck on some infomercial channel was the least of my worries....although some infomercials mixed with pain and morphine can be quite trying to get through =-) Well darn if Maria wasn't just as comfortable as can be for HOURS as well as her caregiver...I could hear her snoring. Finally, Maria woke up to use the toilet and I waited until she was done before I called out....please push your nurse button.....please.......I was so pitiful! But by the AM I was once again cheered on by G, Christiana and Kelly at how I'd managed to cut my morphine intake by 1/2 the previous night! Whoo Hooo....thanks to my not being able to reach it!!!!
Sunday arrived...morphine pump removed...to be replaced by highly caffienated diet coke. I figuered diet Coke makes me pee always....even to the point of almost not making it to the bathroom....and a few hours later.....success. After saying our goodbyes to Maria....to Kelly and Christina - whose last day as a nursing student was THAT DAY....a very painful attempt to get into the truck....Gary got me home in record time. Thankfully I slept through most of it.
I don't know which one of us went into this procedure with blinders on...me or the doctor....but now....1 week out....would I trade the pain and discomfort to not have been the receipient of Gary's tender, loving, patient care of me? To watch my children lovingly bring meals to us? To have my friend C babysit me this time? To set miniscule goals for myself and watch me reach them (or fail but know I would try again)? I don't know....because 1/2 pain meds is no picnic, getting in and out of bed was a lot easier with G helping everytime, seeing my bulges gone yet replaced by a mass of bruises and stab wounds is quite disconcerting even after a week of looking at them, missing my soon to be daughter-in-laws Bridal Shower because of my inability to recuperate fast enough....oh and knowing that to the depths of my innermost being that the long-awaited "tummy-tuck" will NEVER happen! We'll see.
Why did I write all this down? Probably because in my drug induced state I really believe that you will not read another thing today that is better written or more intriguing than my detailed account of my personal hell. Because in parts of it I really was trying to be funny. And there is nothing more interesting than reading other people's medical stories. Because my memory is such that all these details may be forgotten in the next day, hour, minute.......
Oh...and because I promised Maria I wouldn't forget. Not her....not her sons. We acknowledged we would probably never know the end of each other stories....but she made an impact on my life in 2 short days and I promised I would pray for her and her sons. Please join me in praying for this wonderful, sweet, simple, loving, grieving woman.
One week ago today I went into what I thought would be a simple, although painful, laparoscopic surgery to repair a massive incisional hernia that I developed after having my gastric bypass 6 years ago. It was obvious to me how large an area he had to repair, but I guess I got my first inkling into the fact the the DR didn't understand, when he came into the pre-op. He asked the question as to whether or not I knew what procedure he was performing. I told him that he was going to fix all my hernias. He said, "All? How many do you have?" I told him that I had hundreds that had basically morphed into one or two massive bulges that stuck out at weird angles as well as at weird times. He lifted my gown and handed me a sharpie and asked me to mark the area where my surgery was to take place....then quickly grabbed it away when he saw I was gonna draw all over my abdomen. So he pushed on one part of my belly and asked if this is where it was....yes as well as here, here and here and over here, too. He asked me to sit up and cough and as I sat up my top hernia buldged out rather nicely as if it knew it wasn't gonna be able to play these games anymore....and the Dr's eyes bulged....but not as impressively. He tried to say some encouraging words as well as explain the extent of the surgery he would have to do. He said he would have to put in a rather large piece of mesh to cover the defects and that it might take longer because they have to roll it up really small and then put it in then use the instruments to unfurl it and get it laid out all nice and smooth and attach it to my abdominal wall with brads. Now the brads he had explained. He would have to put one about every 1/4 inch all around the outer perimiter of the mesh...then moved in about 1/2 way and do another whole circle. He said that it didn't make any difference in the pain of these brads whether or not he re-opened my whole incision or was able to complete the surgery laproscopically. He explained the 4 little holes I would have because of where he would have to insert the instruments. I also remember G asking him how he "knew" that the mesh was in place, etc. He stated that he had a few "tricks up his sleeve" to handle that He finished his little pep talk by assuring us that we'd be headed home the next day.
Skip to waking up and being moved into my room. Can I just say that the transfer from gurney to bed is never pleasant...at least it has never been for me. There are far too many people yelling at you to do far too many things...that you probably would have had a hard time accomplishing even if you hadn't had surgery....but the morphine/anesthesia fog only seems to empower those around you to scream and yell for you to do things that you know if you were in your right mind and body...would tend to get their teethed knocked out! (Just a suggestion....all these beds are on wheels and can be moved room to room....so why don't they move you to your slightly more comfortable hospital bed BEFORE they wake you up?????) I am aware of the fact that I am not in a private room and that I am making a terrible disturbance and feel embarrassed and really want to apologize but in reality all I can think is "Where is that morphine button?" Then I feel them lift my gown to inspect my abdomin (I am allergic to adhesive so no dressings) and starting counting....1..2..3..4..5.....6....oh here's another one....7....no let's count again.....8.....here's another one....9...10....11....12....TWELVE! Another recount. I can hear Gary's astonishment and references to looking like I'd been shot or stabbed over, and over, and over..............At some point....I know it is late at night or early morning...the nurses decided I need to get up and use the toilet. So they graciously help me up (insert scream here) and get me to the restroom which is totally on the other side of the room in my roomate's territory. Obviously she isn't asleep and I just hear this sweet voice telling me it will be all right....take my time....breathe.... I feel such relief that she isn't yelling at me to shut up ... and while I am dutifully trying to do my business...we exchange names. Her name is Maria. After a 45 minute attempt the nurses get me back to bed...scan my bladder and come up with the welcome/dreaded plan to insert a catheter. Welcome....because I know this means no more attempts to get me out of bed....dreaded because....well.....you know.....I have made sure that the morphine button is in my left hand (embedded) so as to not lose it through what is left of the night and fitfully go back to sleep.
Sometime mid-morning of Saturday my nurses (Kelly my cutest RN award winner and Christiana my cutest Nursing Student Award Winner - these two girls were such a wonderful team and so helpful and encouraging. I just loved them!) came in and removed the catheter and got me up several times to attempt the bathroom. I was in excruciating pain and at one point in the bathroom pulled my gown up to look at myself....HORROR! G was such an attentive care giver....always coming up with ways to make things easier...I LOVE how caring he becomes and he's such an advocate for me. We were both struck by how much more extensive the operation had been and how much more pain I was in than expected. He acknowledged what I already knew...there was NO way I was going home today....because there was no way I was letting my morphine button out of my reach! Kelly and Christina made the wonderful decision to re-catheratize me and just encouraged G to get me up every so often for laps around the ward. I went from 1 1/2 laps to 6 laps by Sunday. All met with cheers from Kelly and Christiana...have I mentioned I loved those two?
Of couse as we were going about the painful journey to get me to a place where I could even consider going home....we were getting to know my roomate a little better. The cutest little lady. Sad. Her husband of 30 some odd years had died 6 months before. She has two sons. One is in Afghanistan and the other is in Irag. She was in the hospital because she'd just had stomach surgery for stomach cancer. She was only left alone one time that I can remember....she seemed to have a wonderful list of people who loved her and showered her with flowers and stuffed toys....and stayed with her. It's funny how in the hospital we cheer for things that aren't even discussed between strangers outside of the hospital. Her goal given to her by her DR was to poop. I was trying to pee, she was trying to poo and we laughed and bonded over the silliness of it all.
The 2nd night in the hospital we watched the Nascar race together and then G left to go to the Hotel. I wasn't expected to get up all night...so the nurses just asked me to just try and not sleep on my back the whole night. G had asked me to try and not push the morphine button anymore than I absolutely had to. So I push the button....wiggle and worm my way very painfully onto my right side.....and crash....something had fallen....but it wasn't until about 1/2 hour later I realized it was my TV Remote/Nurse Call button. Because I desparetly wanted to move....I wanted my morphine button and I was in PAIN! It hurt my whole body just to try and reach my arms across my chest....I manuevered the bed a little with my elbow....but I was stuck. So I decided that I could handle this...that when they came in to check on Maria then I would just get their attention, too. The fact that the TV was stuck on some infomercial channel was the least of my worries....although some infomercials mixed with pain and morphine can be quite trying to get through =-) Well darn if Maria wasn't just as comfortable as can be for HOURS as well as her caregiver...I could hear her snoring. Finally, Maria woke up to use the toilet and I waited until she was done before I called out....please push your nurse button.....please.......I was so pitiful! But by the AM I was once again cheered on by G, Christiana and Kelly at how I'd managed to cut my morphine intake by 1/2 the previous night! Whoo Hooo....thanks to my not being able to reach it!!!!
Sunday arrived...morphine pump removed...to be replaced by highly caffienated diet coke. I figuered diet Coke makes me pee always....even to the point of almost not making it to the bathroom....and a few hours later.....success. After saying our goodbyes to Maria....to Kelly and Christina - whose last day as a nursing student was THAT DAY....a very painful attempt to get into the truck....Gary got me home in record time. Thankfully I slept through most of it.
I don't know which one of us went into this procedure with blinders on...me or the doctor....but now....1 week out....would I trade the pain and discomfort to not have been the receipient of Gary's tender, loving, patient care of me? To watch my children lovingly bring meals to us? To have my friend C babysit me this time? To set miniscule goals for myself and watch me reach them (or fail but know I would try again)? I don't know....because 1/2 pain meds is no picnic, getting in and out of bed was a lot easier with G helping everytime, seeing my bulges gone yet replaced by a mass of bruises and stab wounds is quite disconcerting even after a week of looking at them, missing my soon to be daughter-in-laws Bridal Shower because of my inability to recuperate fast enough....oh and knowing that to the depths of my innermost being that the long-awaited "tummy-tuck" will NEVER happen! We'll see.
Why did I write all this down? Probably because in my drug induced state I really believe that you will not read another thing today that is better written or more intriguing than my detailed account of my personal hell. Because in parts of it I really was trying to be funny. And there is nothing more interesting than reading other people's medical stories. Because my memory is such that all these details may be forgotten in the next day, hour, minute.......
Oh...and because I promised Maria I wouldn't forget. Not her....not her sons. We acknowledged we would probably never know the end of each other stories....but she made an impact on my life in 2 short days and I promised I would pray for her and her sons. Please join me in praying for this wonderful, sweet, simple, loving, grieving woman.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The FIRE!
When I was 13 years old my biological family and I went on a camping trip over the Thanksgiving weekend. When we returned on Sunday our neighbor came up to the driver's side window and knocked. When the window was rolled down he just said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your house burned down while you were gone."
Life changing. Many things changed in my life when I was 13. I lost all my possessions. I wore the same pair of Levi 501's and 3 Hang Ten t-shirts that I had taken camping, for the next 4 months. I told. I told the secret. Maybe if there had never been a fire....and we hadn't been separated temporarily....if I hadn't had that glimpse into "real" life....maybe I wouldn't have had the guts to get so angry. Maybe that fire changed my circumstances just enough for me to learn how to stand up for myself. I left. I turned my back on the old and began the new. New family. New dreams. New me.
Fire changes things.
J and A had a fire. E and S had already left for school. J had just driven away with C and A to drop them off. A was just about to get into the shower while KS slept. She smelled something. The same kind of smell like when the vacuum belt is melting. That burned plastic smell. Not smoke. Not fire. No alarms. Just that smell. She almost ignored it. She went in search and saw a fire next to the stovetop reaching up to the cabinets. She stopped. Remembered the fire extinguisher under the kitchen sink....sprayed it.....nothing. Fizzled. Stopped again. Thought she could put it out with a towel....realizing after probably just seconds that it wasn't working and was even making it worse. It was bigger now. Smoke was getting heavy. Grabbed her cell phone, took KS from her crib and ran out the door. Called 911 first and then J. He told her to get the hose. Jared was only at the corner... a few blocks away. Things had happened so fast. J drove home VERY fast...arrived before the fire engines. A was in the back yard struggling to untangle the hose....J got it from her and entered the house from the back. C helped untangle the hose and get the kinks out. J laid on his stomach in the family room because the smoke was so thick. He aimed the hose at the fire and had it pretty much out by the time the fire trucks arrived. The firemen did their job and saved the rest of the house. They determined that the fire started with the toaster. No, no one was using it at the time. It was just sitting there. Plugged in. It was always plugged in. Isn't everybody's? G explained that a plugged in small appliance is always receiving current. Eventually if your wiring is damaged or old...eventually they catch on fire. Every day. Seriously. A toaster could have killed my son and his wife and his 5 children. A plugged in toaster. If you read this....please unplug your small appliances when you are not using them. I have.
Chaos. I remember that as being the aftermath of my fire and it certainly was for this one. The boys stayed here for a few days. Dealing with insurance. Buying new clothes. Dealing with somebody else in your home touching your stuff. Hard. Life changing.
Jesus says he can bring out the beauty from our ashes. I am who I am partly because I went through fire. I wonder what amazing things He is going to do from these ashes. God loves to surprise. I patiently wait.
Thank you Jesus for saving my kids and grandkids. Things can be replaced. Stuff is just stuff. They are my heart and I am so greatful that you protected them.
Life changing. Many things changed in my life when I was 13. I lost all my possessions. I wore the same pair of Levi 501's and 3 Hang Ten t-shirts that I had taken camping, for the next 4 months. I told. I told the secret. Maybe if there had never been a fire....and we hadn't been separated temporarily....if I hadn't had that glimpse into "real" life....maybe I wouldn't have had the guts to get so angry. Maybe that fire changed my circumstances just enough for me to learn how to stand up for myself. I left. I turned my back on the old and began the new. New family. New dreams. New me.
Fire changes things.
J and A had a fire. E and S had already left for school. J had just driven away with C and A to drop them off. A was just about to get into the shower while KS slept. She smelled something. The same kind of smell like when the vacuum belt is melting. That burned plastic smell. Not smoke. Not fire. No alarms. Just that smell. She almost ignored it. She went in search and saw a fire next to the stovetop reaching up to the cabinets. She stopped. Remembered the fire extinguisher under the kitchen sink....sprayed it.....nothing. Fizzled. Stopped again. Thought she could put it out with a towel....realizing after probably just seconds that it wasn't working and was even making it worse. It was bigger now. Smoke was getting heavy. Grabbed her cell phone, took KS from her crib and ran out the door. Called 911 first and then J. He told her to get the hose. Jared was only at the corner... a few blocks away. Things had happened so fast. J drove home VERY fast...arrived before the fire engines. A was in the back yard struggling to untangle the hose....J got it from her and entered the house from the back. C helped untangle the hose and get the kinks out. J laid on his stomach in the family room because the smoke was so thick. He aimed the hose at the fire and had it pretty much out by the time the fire trucks arrived. The firemen did their job and saved the rest of the house. They determined that the fire started with the toaster. No, no one was using it at the time. It was just sitting there. Plugged in. It was always plugged in. Isn't everybody's? G explained that a plugged in small appliance is always receiving current. Eventually if your wiring is damaged or old...eventually they catch on fire. Every day. Seriously. A toaster could have killed my son and his wife and his 5 children. A plugged in toaster. If you read this....please unplug your small appliances when you are not using them. I have.
Chaos. I remember that as being the aftermath of my fire and it certainly was for this one. The boys stayed here for a few days. Dealing with insurance. Buying new clothes. Dealing with somebody else in your home touching your stuff. Hard. Life changing.
Jesus says he can bring out the beauty from our ashes. I am who I am partly because I went through fire. I wonder what amazing things He is going to do from these ashes. God loves to surprise. I patiently wait.
Thank you Jesus for saving my kids and grandkids. Things can be replaced. Stuff is just stuff. They are my heart and I am so greatful that you protected them.
AJB Birth Story, finally!
Wow! He's 3 weeks and 1 day today! He's beautiful and wonderful and I can't seem to be able to see him enough! In fact, I haven't seen him for 9 days!! Nobody's fault really...just circumstances. (J & A had a house fire! Will blog about that next. And I was sick =(
So...let's see what I can remember......
S and her girlfriend, R, went to Tahoe Joe's for lunch on the 7th because the cheesecake there is supposed to induce labor. So off they went and had a fabulous lunch. Later...at R's in-laws place of business....(R's MIL is one of my closest friends.) her water broke! I hear it was pretty funny! So they called G at work and he came and picked her up and off they went to the hospital. They determined that her water did indeed break and got her on monitors. For purposes of paperwork they decided that her labor actually started at 4:30 p.m. I arrived at the hospital at 5:30 p.m. where I was to stay for the next 26 hours.
Her labor started quite slowly....(comparing to mine when I went into labor after my water broke with J. Immediate hard, knee buckling pain!) She barely felt the contractions....had to look at the monitor sometimes just to see she was having them! She was already a 2 from the week before....and after a few hours she was a 4. Then they started pitocin and the pain increased dramatically. I am fuzzy about some of the times now...but I think around midnight she got her epidural. She LOVED it. She never wanted one but the pain was so excruciating that she finally gave in. She said that during the contractions it felt like she was getting the best massage! She was able to doze a little, too. Somewhere around 4:00 a.m. she got checked and was at a 9.5. The turned her epidural off and had her start "practice" pushing. The whole lot of us were sent out to the waiting room to await A's arrival. I dozed off and on for the next 2 1/2 hours sitting straight up in a very uncomfortable chair.
I must have slept hard for a moment....because I woke up in a panic. Realizing she'd been pushing for 2 1/2 hours and we'd heard NOTHING about what was going on....I went and stood by the door of their room. I could hear S screaming and crying and saying she "couldn't do it anymore!" I opened the door a crack and waiting until I caught G's eye....I asked him if he needed me to come in and he said no. So I closed the door and prayed. Then some cleaning lady came by and said that I couldn't stand by the door and I needed to go back to the waiting room. I said I would when I was done praying...she agreed and I left about 1 minute later. I really was trying to keep my heart and mind centered on God and realize that He was in control....I kept praying that God would intervene in that room and allow A to be born naturally. I was fighting back panic and fear....unsuccessfully. I would wander back down the hall and stop and listen at the door...pray...wander down to the waiting room. I was by myself. I wasn't talking to anybody and wasn't bother the nurses at all. I kept my head down and didn't linger any one place very long. So on one of my trips down the hall...here comes a Security Guard! He informed me that if I didn't go and stay in the waiting room he was gonna CALL THE POLICE!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! I have had 4 other grandchildren born in that hospital! ALL 4 times I have stood outside the door!!!! NEVER have I been so insulted in my life. And the security guard....he was a little pimply faced adolescent wearing a uniform too big for him and with some kind of power complex! I was in tears, still scared and really fighting down a panic attack. At the time I didn't realize I was having a panic attack....but looking back I now realize it was. S's mom tried to calm me. I couldn't understand why they all weren't falling apart. I just knew something was going wrong and I couldn't stop crying. About 30 minutes after the SG incident a nurse came into the waiting room looking for "the grandmother who is really upset!" She wanted to let me know that the other nurses had asked her to go into the room and ask G to come out and talk to me! REALLY? I never asked for that! He was 100% supposed to be exactly where he was supposed to be and all I wanted was to be close and pray. I told her about the cleaning lady and the SG and what he'd threatened me with. She was furious. She told me that the Nurse Manager for the whole unit would be in in an couple of hours and that I should report the incident immediately....she had never heard of anything like it! She also told us that S had been "refusing" to push for most of the time and that now she was finally getting serious." She told us that A would be here soon. I called Gary and he came to the hospital. I met him downstairs and we went and sat in his truck and I ate a banana and took my medication. After about 10 minutes I went back upstairs and heard that he'd been born. Nobody knew anything yet other that he'd made his appearance. Withing about 30 seconds I received the CUTEST picture on my phone....and got to share the news with the whole gang! I was such a proud Nana!
Now for the rest of the story......
The nurse who had suggested that S start to "practice" pushing I guess never really was much help in teaching S HOW to push. She apparently mostly just stood around. Obviously it just wasn't a match for their personalities. S never got from her exactly what she was supposed to be doing...and was exhausting herself trying to do everything right. S said that G was AMAZING! He never left her side (I can attest to that!) and was 100% supportive and encouraging. At shift change around 7:30 a.m. the night nurse left and in came the day nurse. TOTALLY different personality! S HATED her because she was a "drill sargeant!" Basically that is when S began to push with purpose...(when I told her later what the other nurse had said that she was "refusing" to push.....well I can't print what she thought about that!!!) She finally had someone telling her exactly what to do, when to do it, how to do it and that she COULD do it. The Dr had been in the room for at least the last hour and ended up having to do a level 4 episiotomy. That is being cut from vagina to anus!!!!!!!! (Sorry for being so graphic....but it is MAJOR!) AJB was born 3/8/11, 8 lbs 8 oz, 8:07 a.m. (S says she sorry but she couldn't wait on more minute for him to be born at 8:08! Can't say I blame her!) His head was funny looking....not a conehead....more like an oblong...and he had a ton of hair in the back of his head but just peach fuzz on the top. We tease that he had "Papa's hair!" And of course, he was (and is) absolutely perfect and beautiful!) (Oh...and by the way...the nurse that S hated so much during childbirth....was the most amazing comforting and attentive nurse for the rest of the day. S learned so much from her and really grew to love her!)
G was obviously in love with his son from the moment he laid eyes on him. He is such a great dad! And he really stepped up in caring for S after the birth. S was in so much pain from the birth and she could barely move. She was bleeding heavily and after the 1st time getting up to use the restroom the nurse had to pull that emergency cord in the bathroom. (I always wondered what would happen if you pulled that cord....apparently every nurse and aide on the floor comes running!) They caught her from falling and and got her back into bed in a moment of controlled chaos. So they didnt let her get up without a nurse until the next day. When they finally did...G took control. He filled her waterbottle, prepared her pad, changed her pads...I mean he did everything! He also took over with Austin....changing him, burping him and dressing him. He could swaddle him better that any of us! I say all of this because I saw a new side to my son. One I hoped would be there...but wasn't sure if it would. He was tender, and caring and present. I was sure that I would be spending the first night with them because I didn't think G wanted to do it by himself. But...he was very confident and they had each other and I got to go home and sleep in my own bed! Yay!
Wednesday...they said they could go home IF A would poop! We waited and waited and waited. Well...we cuddled, took pictures, fed, S pumped, laughed and oooed and awed over him. Still....no poop. Gas...but no poop! Finally, about 4:30 he did it! Not much! But enough to make the nurses happy. So A was able to go home. We took Tahoe Joe's over for dinner (seemed appropriate!) and got them settled and headed home ourselves. S found nursing extremely difficult because A would not stay latched. I got her a breast pump and she has found that pumping and the bottle seems to make the most sense for them. They have been doing an amazing job ever since. I am so blessed to have S be the mother of my grandbaby! And so proud of G. And so in love with A!!!!
So...let's see what I can remember......
S and her girlfriend, R, went to Tahoe Joe's for lunch on the 7th because the cheesecake there is supposed to induce labor. So off they went and had a fabulous lunch. Later...at R's in-laws place of business....(R's MIL is one of my closest friends.) her water broke! I hear it was pretty funny! So they called G at work and he came and picked her up and off they went to the hospital. They determined that her water did indeed break and got her on monitors. For purposes of paperwork they decided that her labor actually started at 4:30 p.m. I arrived at the hospital at 5:30 p.m. where I was to stay for the next 26 hours.
Her labor started quite slowly....(comparing to mine when I went into labor after my water broke with J. Immediate hard, knee buckling pain!) She barely felt the contractions....had to look at the monitor sometimes just to see she was having them! She was already a 2 from the week before....and after a few hours she was a 4. Then they started pitocin and the pain increased dramatically. I am fuzzy about some of the times now...but I think around midnight she got her epidural. She LOVED it. She never wanted one but the pain was so excruciating that she finally gave in. She said that during the contractions it felt like she was getting the best massage! She was able to doze a little, too. Somewhere around 4:00 a.m. she got checked and was at a 9.5. The turned her epidural off and had her start "practice" pushing. The whole lot of us were sent out to the waiting room to await A's arrival. I dozed off and on for the next 2 1/2 hours sitting straight up in a very uncomfortable chair.
I must have slept hard for a moment....because I woke up in a panic. Realizing she'd been pushing for 2 1/2 hours and we'd heard NOTHING about what was going on....I went and stood by the door of their room. I could hear S screaming and crying and saying she "couldn't do it anymore!" I opened the door a crack and waiting until I caught G's eye....I asked him if he needed me to come in and he said no. So I closed the door and prayed. Then some cleaning lady came by and said that I couldn't stand by the door and I needed to go back to the waiting room. I said I would when I was done praying...she agreed and I left about 1 minute later. I really was trying to keep my heart and mind centered on God and realize that He was in control....I kept praying that God would intervene in that room and allow A to be born naturally. I was fighting back panic and fear....unsuccessfully. I would wander back down the hall and stop and listen at the door...pray...wander down to the waiting room. I was by myself. I wasn't talking to anybody and wasn't bother the nurses at all. I kept my head down and didn't linger any one place very long. So on one of my trips down the hall...here comes a Security Guard! He informed me that if I didn't go and stay in the waiting room he was gonna CALL THE POLICE!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! I have had 4 other grandchildren born in that hospital! ALL 4 times I have stood outside the door!!!! NEVER have I been so insulted in my life. And the security guard....he was a little pimply faced adolescent wearing a uniform too big for him and with some kind of power complex! I was in tears, still scared and really fighting down a panic attack. At the time I didn't realize I was having a panic attack....but looking back I now realize it was. S's mom tried to calm me. I couldn't understand why they all weren't falling apart. I just knew something was going wrong and I couldn't stop crying. About 30 minutes after the SG incident a nurse came into the waiting room looking for "the grandmother who is really upset!" She wanted to let me know that the other nurses had asked her to go into the room and ask G to come out and talk to me! REALLY? I never asked for that! He was 100% supposed to be exactly where he was supposed to be and all I wanted was to be close and pray. I told her about the cleaning lady and the SG and what he'd threatened me with. She was furious. She told me that the Nurse Manager for the whole unit would be in in an couple of hours and that I should report the incident immediately....she had never heard of anything like it! She also told us that S had been "refusing" to push for most of the time and that now she was finally getting serious." She told us that A would be here soon. I called Gary and he came to the hospital. I met him downstairs and we went and sat in his truck and I ate a banana and took my medication. After about 10 minutes I went back upstairs and heard that he'd been born. Nobody knew anything yet other that he'd made his appearance. Withing about 30 seconds I received the CUTEST picture on my phone....and got to share the news with the whole gang! I was such a proud Nana!
Now for the rest of the story......
The nurse who had suggested that S start to "practice" pushing I guess never really was much help in teaching S HOW to push. She apparently mostly just stood around. Obviously it just wasn't a match for their personalities. S never got from her exactly what she was supposed to be doing...and was exhausting herself trying to do everything right. S said that G was AMAZING! He never left her side (I can attest to that!) and was 100% supportive and encouraging. At shift change around 7:30 a.m. the night nurse left and in came the day nurse. TOTALLY different personality! S HATED her because she was a "drill sargeant!" Basically that is when S began to push with purpose...(when I told her later what the other nurse had said that she was "refusing" to push.....well I can't print what she thought about that!!!) She finally had someone telling her exactly what to do, when to do it, how to do it and that she COULD do it. The Dr had been in the room for at least the last hour and ended up having to do a level 4 episiotomy. That is being cut from vagina to anus!!!!!!!! (Sorry for being so graphic....but it is MAJOR!) AJB was born 3/8/11, 8 lbs 8 oz, 8:07 a.m. (S says she sorry but she couldn't wait on more minute for him to be born at 8:08! Can't say I blame her!) His head was funny looking....not a conehead....more like an oblong...and he had a ton of hair in the back of his head but just peach fuzz on the top. We tease that he had "Papa's hair!" And of course, he was (and is) absolutely perfect and beautiful!) (Oh...and by the way...the nurse that S hated so much during childbirth....was the most amazing comforting and attentive nurse for the rest of the day. S learned so much from her and really grew to love her!)
G was obviously in love with his son from the moment he laid eyes on him. He is such a great dad! And he really stepped up in caring for S after the birth. S was in so much pain from the birth and she could barely move. She was bleeding heavily and after the 1st time getting up to use the restroom the nurse had to pull that emergency cord in the bathroom. (I always wondered what would happen if you pulled that cord....apparently every nurse and aide on the floor comes running!) They caught her from falling and and got her back into bed in a moment of controlled chaos. So they didnt let her get up without a nurse until the next day. When they finally did...G took control. He filled her waterbottle, prepared her pad, changed her pads...I mean he did everything! He also took over with Austin....changing him, burping him and dressing him. He could swaddle him better that any of us! I say all of this because I saw a new side to my son. One I hoped would be there...but wasn't sure if it would. He was tender, and caring and present. I was sure that I would be spending the first night with them because I didn't think G wanted to do it by himself. But...he was very confident and they had each other and I got to go home and sleep in my own bed! Yay!
Wednesday...they said they could go home IF A would poop! We waited and waited and waited. Well...we cuddled, took pictures, fed, S pumped, laughed and oooed and awed over him. Still....no poop. Gas...but no poop! Finally, about 4:30 he did it! Not much! But enough to make the nurses happy. So A was able to go home. We took Tahoe Joe's over for dinner (seemed appropriate!) and got them settled and headed home ourselves. S found nursing extremely difficult because A would not stay latched. I got her a breast pump and she has found that pumping and the bottle seems to make the most sense for them. They have been doing an amazing job ever since. I am so blessed to have S be the mother of my grandbaby! And so proud of G. And so in love with A!!!!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
He's Here!!!!!
Once again another baby boy has joined our family. AJB born 3/8 - 8#8oz - 21 inches and a big head! So beautiful........so sweet......I am so in love! Birth story to follow after some sleep.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
It Is What It Is (but do I have to take it?)
Dear Son,
I wanted to write a letter to you and actually mail it....but your father says that that it is not worth my time. And it may even be throwing gasoline onto an already raging fire. He also says that it would change nothing and you wouldn't even begin to comprehend it. So I will blog it. I will say here what I want to say to you and maybe someday you will read it and you will understand and maybe even thank me for my high expectations and my desire to hold you accountable.
Where do I start? I guess going way back in history is too far.....so I will start with 3 months ago. When you stated that you were off drugs and were "back to normal" and we agreed to move you home. This agreement came with stipulations that you were more than happy to agree to.. But once we started requesting that you keep your end of the bargain...it was like pulling teeth....my own teeth. Painful and fruitless. Well....once or twice you would do what we asked...but only after much bargaining and discussion. Never did you follow thru without us requesting over and over....and then things never did add up.
Then the checking account: Constantly overdrawn at $34 everytime...how long did you think you could keep doing this?
Now to more recent. Starting with the fact that the original date for a momentus occasion was on February 23rd. But sometime around Feb 1st you started saying that it was going to happen much sooner. Then you "borrowed" $500 and needed it immediately and promised the payback. Well the payback never happened....the occasion actually happened on the correct date (as we should have known) and once again we were taken.
We called you last Wednesday night and told you specifically to put money in your checking account. Sure....I will take care of it....no problem. You didn't....we ended up paying for your neglect.
You came here briefly to pick up a car from us after destroying you own....and immediately fell back into old patterns...even after I asked you not to in front of C. (Speaking of C....i brought him and not J over to see you hours later than I had planned. I found it very interesting that only A called to ask where I was....you never did. In fact you and I never even discussed whether or not you were even going to see them. I honestly think that now you never had any intention. I think I surprised you by my plan for them to see you. I think you would have been happier to have not seen them Just my observation.) You almost drove drunk in the car we gave you saved only by the fact that your brother stopped you. You rewarded him by stealing his clothes.
Which by the way...you lied about when confronted and had your girlfriend call me and tell me that she "found" them under the seat of the car and you have no idea how they got there! Mmmmmm?
And today....you text to tell me your water bill is due today and you must have $88 before 3:00. How many times have I asked to you let me know the bills in plenty of time so I can pay them? I refused to send the money immediately and told you that I would put money in your account....but if I found the account to be overdrawn you were on your own....period. Well it was and you are.
I will continue to pay the bills.....for now. I will not give you 1 red cent. Dad and I are agreed on this. Will it be hard to keep this resolve? Yes. You will be angry and say mean and horrible things. You will threaten us with all kinds of harm and retribution. But...maybe...you will also grow up, mature, aquire your own self worth and maybe even some integrity. Or not.
Dad says that you only live in the moment. You never look ahead. You never weigh the consequences. You don't plan. You are used to asking and used to getting. You never consider other peoples feelings or plans or situations. You compare yourself to everybody else and try to puff yourself up to be better than others. You lie, cheat and steal. You are jealous and feel entitled. You are an addict...whether or not it's to Meth, pain killers or alcohol. You make no effort to discipline yourself and lash out at those who would try to do it for you. You are a two year old in a 31 year old body.
Things are going to be quite difficult for awhile. But one thing will not change. I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you. One day...someday....you will grow to understand this. If I am still around I would love to hear it from you....but if I'm gone....share it with somebody. Perhaps your own children....who sometimes seem to make the same mistakes that their parents made. Mmmmm?
I wanted to write a letter to you and actually mail it....but your father says that that it is not worth my time. And it may even be throwing gasoline onto an already raging fire. He also says that it would change nothing and you wouldn't even begin to comprehend it. So I will blog it. I will say here what I want to say to you and maybe someday you will read it and you will understand and maybe even thank me for my high expectations and my desire to hold you accountable.
Where do I start? I guess going way back in history is too far.....so I will start with 3 months ago. When you stated that you were off drugs and were "back to normal" and we agreed to move you home. This agreement came with stipulations that you were more than happy to agree to.. But once we started requesting that you keep your end of the bargain...it was like pulling teeth....my own teeth. Painful and fruitless. Well....once or twice you would do what we asked...but only after much bargaining and discussion. Never did you follow thru without us requesting over and over....and then things never did add up.
Then the checking account: Constantly overdrawn at $34 everytime...how long did you think you could keep doing this?
Now to more recent. Starting with the fact that the original date for a momentus occasion was on February 23rd. But sometime around Feb 1st you started saying that it was going to happen much sooner. Then you "borrowed" $500 and needed it immediately and promised the payback. Well the payback never happened....the occasion actually happened on the correct date (as we should have known) and once again we were taken.
We called you last Wednesday night and told you specifically to put money in your checking account. Sure....I will take care of it....no problem. You didn't....we ended up paying for your neglect.
You came here briefly to pick up a car from us after destroying you own....and immediately fell back into old patterns...even after I asked you not to in front of C. (Speaking of C....i brought him and not J over to see you hours later than I had planned. I found it very interesting that only A called to ask where I was....you never did. In fact you and I never even discussed whether or not you were even going to see them. I honestly think that now you never had any intention. I think I surprised you by my plan for them to see you. I think you would have been happier to have not seen them Just my observation.) You almost drove drunk in the car we gave you saved only by the fact that your brother stopped you. You rewarded him by stealing his clothes.
Which by the way...you lied about when confronted and had your girlfriend call me and tell me that she "found" them under the seat of the car and you have no idea how they got there! Mmmmmm?
And today....you text to tell me your water bill is due today and you must have $88 before 3:00. How many times have I asked to you let me know the bills in plenty of time so I can pay them? I refused to send the money immediately and told you that I would put money in your account....but if I found the account to be overdrawn you were on your own....period. Well it was and you are.
I will continue to pay the bills.....for now. I will not give you 1 red cent. Dad and I are agreed on this. Will it be hard to keep this resolve? Yes. You will be angry and say mean and horrible things. You will threaten us with all kinds of harm and retribution. But...maybe...you will also grow up, mature, aquire your own self worth and maybe even some integrity. Or not.
Dad says that you only live in the moment. You never look ahead. You never weigh the consequences. You don't plan. You are used to asking and used to getting. You never consider other peoples feelings or plans or situations. You compare yourself to everybody else and try to puff yourself up to be better than others. You lie, cheat and steal. You are jealous and feel entitled. You are an addict...whether or not it's to Meth, pain killers or alcohol. You make no effort to discipline yourself and lash out at those who would try to do it for you. You are a two year old in a 31 year old body.
Things are going to be quite difficult for awhile. But one thing will not change. I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you. One day...someday....you will grow to understand this. If I am still around I would love to hear it from you....but if I'm gone....share it with somebody. Perhaps your own children....who sometimes seem to make the same mistakes that their parents made. Mmmmm?
Sunday, February 6, 2011
The Gift of Grace
So I was on FB and one of my "friends" who I've never met, but know through scrapping and have kept in touch with her for years...., well, she posted something today that really set me to thinking. Her post stated, "is watching the Super Bowl worth losing your soul?"
Really? My soul is at risk of being lost eternally if I were to choose to watch the Super Bowl today? When I questioned her on her point she told me that in their church they have a regularly scheduled Worship Service tonight. There would be people who would choose to stay home and watch the game and neglect going to church. Because of this, they were in jepardy of losing their souls? I would agree that if God had laid it on their hearts that they should be at worship...and they knew their hearts were rebelling and still made the choice to stay home....then they would be definitely walking in sin. Sin in any of it's forms must be dealt with biblically. We must confess our sin and ask God to forgive it. We must confess our rebellion, also. But, my soul? If I were to be in fear constantly of losing my soul everytime I sinned...purposely or even unconsiously, what a state I would be in. Jesus does not call us to live in fear. He calls us to live in obedience. In love. In relationship. In grace.
Really? My soul is at risk of being lost eternally if I were to choose to watch the Super Bowl today? When I questioned her on her point she told me that in their church they have a regularly scheduled Worship Service tonight. There would be people who would choose to stay home and watch the game and neglect going to church. Because of this, they were in jepardy of losing their souls? I would agree that if God had laid it on their hearts that they should be at worship...and they knew their hearts were rebelling and still made the choice to stay home....then they would be definitely walking in sin. Sin in any of it's forms must be dealt with biblically. We must confess our sin and ask God to forgive it. We must confess our rebellion, also. But, my soul? If I were to be in fear constantly of losing my soul everytime I sinned...purposely or even unconsiously, what a state I would be in. Jesus does not call us to live in fear. He calls us to live in obedience. In love. In relationship. In grace.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Why can't they just learn from my mistakes?
It is so hard to watch your children make the same relationship mistakes that you made. I want to shake them and tell them, "Can't you see what you're doing?"... "Can't you see the damage you are creating?"...
No, they can't. They haven't lived long enough to know. They haven't hurt someone else so badly that the bond may be irreparably damaged. They haven't experienced the depths of terror and fear that they may, actually, lose that person forever. And in some cases....they don't even know how important the person they are hurting is to them...and will be for the rest of their lives.
Regrets...I can see them piling up...but they don't see.
All I can do is pray for them. Lord open their eyes and their hearts. Teach them patience and compassion. Help them to understand the love is an action, not just words. Help them to grow to understand that they are only happiest when they are pouring out themselves for somebody else.
No, they can't. They haven't lived long enough to know. They haven't hurt someone else so badly that the bond may be irreparably damaged. They haven't experienced the depths of terror and fear that they may, actually, lose that person forever. And in some cases....they don't even know how important the person they are hurting is to them...and will be for the rest of their lives.
Regrets...I can see them piling up...but they don't see.
All I can do is pray for them. Lord open their eyes and their hearts. Teach them patience and compassion. Help them to understand the love is an action, not just words. Help them to grow to understand that they are only happiest when they are pouring out themselves for somebody else.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Family Time
We just got home from a beautiful trip to Lake Tahoe with most all of our kids and grandkids. Loved the time together. Getting to watch everybody interact together, get to know each other, cousins playing together...makes my heart happy. Hopefully next year our family vacation will be with 100% of my family!
The home we rented was big, beautiful and had plenty of bathrooms. There was a perfect sledding hill just right outside the door...private...shared with no one. Of course there was skiing and snowboarding as well. G and I went snowmobiling for the first time. All the DIL's and the little ones went on a two horse sleigh ride. Jake and Angel....those were the names of our horses that pulled our sleigh. Afterwards the kids got to feed and pet the horses. We had a girls night out at Harvey's Casino...came home broke...but had lots of fun!
I love spending time with my family. I love taking care of them and making memories. I am so blessed.
The home we rented was big, beautiful and had plenty of bathrooms. There was a perfect sledding hill just right outside the door...private...shared with no one. Of course there was skiing and snowboarding as well. G and I went snowmobiling for the first time. All the DIL's and the little ones went on a two horse sleigh ride. Jake and Angel....those were the names of our horses that pulled our sleigh. Afterwards the kids got to feed and pet the horses. We had a girls night out at Harvey's Casino...came home broke...but had lots of fun!
I love spending time with my family. I love taking care of them and making memories. I am so blessed.
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