One Month....

L is one month old today.  4 weeks and 3 days to be exact.  I love him from the depths of my being.  I was worried that he might replace my other grandkids in my heart...being that we are actually related by blood...but not to worry!  Just as T, A, JJ & KS are buried deep in my heart and are mine - and they aren't related to any of us by blood....L takes his place in the depths of my heart where love grows, expands, swells and enlarges my heart...why did I worry?  There is no limit to my heart's capacity to love...it can't be replaced...just added to.  Although sometimes our love for our children and grandchildren can cause our hearts to break and feel as though we may not be able to go on...the pieces stay connected by love...the love stays...no matter the pain and no matter the time that goes by....the love stays!  Welcome to my heart L...you are in good company!

~You are in my heart~

In a conversation today with A...she's 4....about family. 

A:  "Nana, I don't want you to get married!"
Me: "But, I am already married."
A:  "Why"
Me:  "Because Papa and I are a family."
A:  "Am I in your family?"
Me:  "Yes, you are a part of my family."
A:  "Because I am in your heart?"
Me: "Yes, A..., you are definitely in my heart!"

Today is my 2nd newest grandson's 4th birthday!

We haven't even known each other for a year yet.  I think we met sometimes last October...maybe it was November 3rd...for Papa's birthday....I would have to go back and look at the Calendar.  You were so shy...not letting go of Mommy at all...staying on her lap.  You were only three and a couple of months and so unsure of these people you never met.  I fell in love with you the moment I laid eyes on you.  Over the next few months I really did wonder if you'd ever really warm up to us.  Going to see daddy race every week...that helped break some of the ice.  And when you fell and skinned your knee at the races you let me hold you and comfort you.  My heart almost burst!  I saw you get more and more comfortable with the other kids...even making S you best friend...you love him so much!  My ipod helped a lot too...you love that thing and Nana makes sure she has all the fun games and movies loaded on it to keep you happy.  Now when you see me and Papa you come running...you freely give hugs (no kisses - but you are a boy!) You are happy to see us anytime.  You are a wonderful big brother to LM and I love to watch you when you hug and kiss him.  We celebrated your birthday with a family party last Monday night....your's and daddy's.  Today is your time to celebrate with Mommy's side of the family and I bet you are having a blast!  Tomorrow is the big party at PIU and I can't wait to see you have so much fun (and taking lots and lots of pictures!)  And I look forward to spending time with you the whole year to come...you have become a part of my heart and I love you very much!

I love scrapbooking!

I love that I've had some time the last few days to scrapbook.  The thing is...that rarely does anybody ever look at them.  Unless I delibrately show them....nobody asks to see them.  Why do I still do it?  For me it is the process...the raw photos, deciding the colors to use...the layout.  I used to wonder what my scrapbooking "style" is...and have decided that I am very linear...like things to be straight and equally spaced.  I like borders.  I can put things off-kilter to an extent...but hate it when the whole page is off.  I also like the collage style.  It is something I would love to master...but usually have to copy off of others to get it right.  I love finding that one right photo and creating around it.  I just got a new camera and have been amazed at how many "right" photos I've been able to take.  So I guess I'll go print out a few and see what I can come up with!

Tomorrow is my baby's 24th B'day.

24 years?  How can that be?  I don't know how I can convince anybody of how fast the time actually goes.  But...fast it is.  A breath...a blink...a moment...and no matter how hard anyone tries, nobody can stop it...but back to that 24 year old....

Born September 5th, 1986.  His due date!  I was miserably hot and wanted nothing more that to have the Dr get this baby out of me.  Unfortunately, the Monday before his due date was Labor Day and therefore not a "surgery" day for the Dr.  So he scheduled me to have J by C-Section the following Monday, the 8th.  Went I went for a check on the 4th...I begged the Dr. him to take him out...but of course (being a male Dr) he laughed it off and said I would be fine until Monday.  I didn't feel fine!  But...as I went home I discovered that his brother, who was only 22 months old, had a fever and was quite sick.  I remember actually saying a little prayer of thanks that I hadn't talked the Dr into delivering me...I knew that by Monday whatever brother had would have probably passed and and I could leave him for 3 days without as much worry and guilt.   About two am I woke up to go to the bathroom (as most pregnant women do hundreds of times a day and night!) and the water wouldn't stop.  Not a big gush...it just kept running out of me!  (I had had his big brother by scheduled C-Section so this was all new to me!)  I woke G up and his take on the situation was "Why don't we wait until morning to call the Dr?"  When I explained to him that I was in labor (actually beginning to feel quite strong contractions) and that I wasn't supposed to give birth naturally to this baby...he woke up and started helping get ready to go.  Our neighbor came over to stay with big brother until my parents could come get him.  I was torn between joy at meeting my new little guy...to leaving G who wasn't feeling well at all.  But as my contractions got stronger and stronger....of course I knew getting to the hospital was the thing to do...now!  After arriving at the hospital we were put in a labor room...hooked up to monitors and left quite alone.  My contractions got stronger and stronger and I was worried that I'd give birth to this child before the Dr. arrived.  Sometime after 4 am the Dr arrived and I was given my spinal and taken to surgery.  J was born at 4:55 a.m. on his due day!  From what I remember he had lots of dark hair and even though he was 9 pounds 1 ounce...he looked long and skinny to me compared to his brother...because he was also 22 inches long...2 inches longer that his brother had been. Later that day as the nurse was rolling him into the room in his little bassinette...I saw a blonde haired baby....I was confused and told the nurse that I didn't think that that was my baby...my baby had dark hair....and just as she was opening her mouth to try and convince me that it was my baby....I heard another nurse yelling down the hall..."That's the wrong baby!  That's not her baby!"  We laughed!  I got my baby and all was well.  And now...that baby is a grown man with a son of his own.  A breath....a blink...a moment....